If only the word "Sorry"can heal all wounds... can cover all hurt... can make things better... If only...I know I have been very demanding. I know I never learn my lessons. I am still trying my best to be the girl YOU will love. But when I have reached that point, will you eventually be with me?Things went pretty well for this week. We have not met for the third week this week. I really do miss his company, his looks, his everything did and time spent with me. We could chat quite a while on the phone daily. Sounds like the good old times...But, because of a sensitive issue brought up yesterday, it resulted in a quarrel. I tried my best to put on a brave front, to plead and bed him to meet up this morning, as planned. But, my emotions got the better of me yet AGAIN and I cried while talking to him. This, being his soft spot, gave in and agreed to meet me. Sorry darling, I know I am always so unreasonable. This is all because of the fear that I am living in each day...I almost destroyed the meet up today. He called me at 6.30am and said that he will meet me at 8.30am at Little India MRT station. As I had already set my alarm to go off at 7.30am, I thought it would be safe for me to continue sleeping till the alarm go off.BUT, when I woke up, it was 8.09am!!! I immediately jumped out of bed, wash up and left home. I was 10 minutes late and thank God he did not lose his temper at me for it.Chatted a while and went for breakfast. Then, he went to collect his First Aid certificate before heading home. As it was still early for me to go to work, I decided to take the MRT with him to Sembawang, alight and take the MRT to City Hall MRT station. This whole trip only cost me 65 cents!He fell asleep in the MRT, and was sleeping very soundly. This shows how tired he was. It made me feel very very guilty. If only I was more understanding. Again, if only...I want to try my best to be the girl you love now...
{&i'll hold on till the end of time-}
2:28 PM
Almost... I almost destroyed everything today...It has been 2 weeks since I last saw HIM. I also did not dare to call him, message him. It was always he who calls me. And because of the financial difficulties we are in now, our talk time with each other was limited to 5 minutes per day. I could accept all these.We planned to meet up today. A day I longed for. For the past couple of weeks, I have been looking forward to this day. However, things did not turn up the way I wanted it to.I understand, he just came back from Malaysia yesterday. And everytime, he would be tired the next day. Having to attend an 8 hours course straight after work today added to his tiredness.But I guess I just missed him too much. Kept wishing that he would change his mind and meet me. On the other hand, I know things will not turn out good if I had met him. Because my mood had been dampened already. Still, I left work at 4pm sharp, roamed around Raffles City Shopping Centre.Tried to find fault with him when he called me. With my usual nagging of course. Quarrelled alittle. But in the end, both of us managed to cool down and talk things through. Thank God. Wonderful...Things are back to normal again. But I really do not know how long it would last. I really fear that last day.It is only 2 weeks and I miss him so much. What is going to happen in the next 3 months after October. And worse, the future...?
{&i'll hold on till the end of time-}
11:06 AM